Getting Ready for Kindergarten

A Big Transition for Everyone

Kindergarten can be a really exciting and stressful time, for parents, caregivers and children alike. It’s okay and very normal to feel nervous. Kindergarten is a big transition.

For many families, it is a completely new experience. There are new routines, new expectations, and new people. Even when you feel confident that your child is "ready," it’s common to feel overwhelmed with a mix of pride, worry, excitement, and exhaustion.

This is exactly what we would expect during a major developmental transition.

Why Starting School Is a Big Deal Developmentally

Starting kindergarten is one of the first major life transitions children experience. At this age, children are still developing key skills such as:

• Emotional regulation

• Transitioning between activities

• Following multi-step directions

• Managing fatigue and hunger

• Separating from caregivers

• Navigating peer relationships

  
  

At the same time, children are being asked to function in an environment that places much greater demands on their executive functioning: the mental skills that help us plan, organise, shift attention, manage impulses, and regulate emotions.

Even children who are enthusiastic about school may struggle with the daily reality of leaving home, sustaining attention, following classroom rules, and coping with increased independence. Learning how to make friends, manage conflict, and recover from social disappointment can be particularly emotionally draining. Many children come home exhausted, both physically and emotionally, after a full day of managing social expectations.

This doesn’t mean something is wrong. It means your child is developing.

What "School Readiness" Really Means

Because school places such complex demands on young children, school readiness is often misunderstood. It is not simply about knowing letters, numbers, or colours.

Research consistently shows that children’s adjustment to school is strongly associated with their emotional regulation, social skills, and executive functioning, alongside their academic knowledge.

In reality, being "ready" for school often looks like:

• Feeling safe with separation from caregivers

• Being able to ask for help when needed

• Coping (with support) when things are hard or unfamiliar

• Trying new things, even when unsure

• Beginning to manage emotions and behaviour in a group setting

For this reason, preparing for kindergarten isn’t just about school supplies, it’s also about supporting your child emotionally, and helping them feel capable and secure. 

One helpful way to prepare is by talking honestly and realistically about school. You can highlight the fun parts: new friends, show-and-tell, art, and play. But you should also acknowledge the hard parts: schoolwork can feel challenging, friendships may be confusing, and not everyone will get along all the time.

Naming the positives and challenges helps yourself and your child to set realistic expectations for school, so you are both a bit more prepared emotionally for what lies ahead.

Other helpful strategies to help with this transition include:

• Normalising nervous feelings instead of dismissing them

• Practising independence gently, without pressure

• Maintaining predictable routines at home

The Morning Routine: Realistic Support, Not Perfection

One daily situation where executive functioning demands become especially visible is the morning routine before school. 

Morning routines for school provide consistency and predictability, helping children arrive at school feeling calmer and more prepared. At the same time, morning routines are often one of the most challenging parts of the day for young children. They require managing multiple steps, time pressure, emotional regulation, and transitions – all of which are skills that are still developing.

A supportive approach to the morning routine includes:

• Preparing the night before (bags packed, clothes ready, lunch prepared)

• Using visual checklists for morning tasks – these work best if they explicitly state what the task involves

• Allowing extra time to reduce rushing and stress

• Offering help alongside encouraging independence

  
  

Some mornings will go smoothly, others won’t. That’s normal. Regression, resistance, and emotional outbursts are common during big transitions. They are not signs of failure, but signs that your child is adjusting. 

Consistency matters more than perfection. On hard mornings, focus on safety and connection. Get out the door as best you can, and return to teaching the routine later, once emotions have settled.

A Process, Not a Test

Starting school is a learning process, for children, parents, and caregivers. It involves adjustment, learning, and growth. It is not a test that you pass or fail. Setbacks are expected, and progress is rarely linear. 

When things feel overwhelming, focus on connection first and remember that needing extra support during big transitions is a normal part of development. Over time most children find their footing.

If concerns about your child’s adjustment, emotional wellbeing, or executive functioning persist, support from a psychologist can help guide you and your child through this important stage of life.